Keep It Simple Stupid

So the other day I wanted to take a nap. The sheets where off of the bed as we needed to get them cleaned. I went to lay on the bed when Veronique said to get off of it because she need to "fix" the bed.

"Fix?! What's broken with it?" I inquired. "It looks fine to me."
"No." She said, “I need to put the sheets on it."
"But, there already *IS* a sheet on it" I said.
"No, That's a bed mat."

Bed Mat?

So now "we" put on a sheet on top of the "bed mat"
Once done I go to lay down and she says "WAIT, I got to put the top sheet on."

Top Sheet!?

"How many sheets do we need to have to lay on a bed?"

Then, just when I *THOUGHT* "we" were done with the whole sheet fiasco, I try to lay down and was do-fully informed that "we" now "need" to put on the pillow covers. GAAAAAA!!

The pillows are another mystery. I still wonder why there are 8 pillows when we sleep on only 2?

Later I went out to buy some soap. She asked for Dove. You would think that such a simply thing as buying soap would be easy. But, oOOOoooNoooo .... There are like 20 different categories for "Dove Moisturizing Lotion". This threw me off big time. She asked for soap. Now I KNOW what soap is. I’ve used it one on twice in my lifetime. It’s a small, white bar that cleans my skin. I stood there for an easy 5 minutes just trying to figure out if the contents inside the box was a lotion in a bottle, that was in a box or a bar of soap. Nowhere on the packaging was the word soap or bar. Clearly, this complex product is not marketed for men. After which I had to take another 5-10 min trying to figure out what categories of “lotion” I was supposed to buy? Hypersyclockamen, sensitive skin, extra moisturizing, yada, yada, yedi ...

Ladies, Let me break it down for yaz.

Men are simply creatures. The only reason we even use A sheet is to keep the stains and crumbs off the mattress. We need only ONE pillow, 2 if they are flat, and pillows cases are just one more unnecessary item that we have to wash. And when it comes to soap we want to see a label that reads ‘Bar Soap”.

So ladies please,
K.I.S.S. 8)